The 2009 awards were in Monday. One article I read mentioned the only way these awards could reach Oscar-worthy notoriety is if it was broadcast live. As Thomas Keller makes abundantly clear, not all celebrity chefs are comfortable with the camera (and apparently some journalists can only muster questions like “What did you eat for breakfast?”). I scrolled passed the obvious celebrity of Momofuku Ko, Dan Barber, and Jean Georges to the journalism awards.

Here are 2008′s best food articles:

• “Sushi Bullies”, Katy McLaughlin, The Wall Street Journal
• “The Pope of Pork”, Kristen Hinman, Riverfront Times
• “High on the Hairy Hogs: Super-Succulent Imports are Everything U.S. Pork Isn’t”, Rebekah Denn, Seattle Post-Intelligencer
• “The Last Time I Saw Paris…”, Ruth Reichl, Gourmet
• “What is Southern?”, Edna Lewis, Gourmet
• “Made (Better) in Japan”, Alan Richman, GQ
• “Faux French,” “The Mario of Midtown,” “Corton on Hudson”, Adam Platt, New York Magazine
• “How to Feed Your Mind”, Rachael Moeller Gorman, EatingWell
• “¡Viva La Revolución!”, Alan Richman, GQ
• “Benedictions”, Aleksandra Crapanzano, Gourmet

The USDA food pyramid has been inadequate since its inception in 1992. It is accepted that each day we need to consume protein, fat, and carbohydrates, in addition to the 8 essential amino acids, a lot of water, and some vitamins and minerals. The sources of our nutrients and their volume, however, have been argued for centuries. The USDA food pyramid is so steeped in politics, $$$, and other non-food-related power struggles, it has caused a series of rebuttals over the years from a myriad of specialists and individuals alike, all eager to add their two cents. Below is a sampling of these alternative pyramids, some helpful, some witty, and some literally flipping the pyramid concept on its head.

Each image demonstrates the brilliantly iconic form of the pyramid, while also exposing the limitations of trying to encapsulate a diet in an isosceles triangle. These are just the tip of the iceberg.

Official Advice from the USDA

MyPyramid [MyPyramid]
The USDA updated the pyramid in 2005 to include exercise and also developed different programs depending on age, sex, and weight. While small steps were made, the pyramid is still lacking an emphasis on whole grains, grouping together meat, fish, legumes, and nuts, and advocating a substantial amount of dairy. In other words, the corporations are still controlling the American diet.

Old USDA Pyramid [MyPyramid]
Forms of this pyramid were used up through 2005. Again, this one does not distinguish between whole and processed grains, or give enough emphasis on vegetables. It also groups meat, fish, nuts, and legumes all in one category as though they are equal sources of protein, has an entire section for dairy products, and relegates all fats to the top.

What the fads, corporations, and Japanese government have produced

Weightloss Pyramid [Easy Weightloss Pills]
One of the many weight loss programs that suggest a whole lot of fruit and vegetables, sticking to whole grains, liming proteins, drinking a lot of water, cutting out dairy, and boosting your energy with vitamins.

BIG Foods for Kids [Felt Source]
For kids, this “educational” poster is all but screaming about Jiffy, Dannon, Sunkist, Monsanto, and Kraft.

Raw Food Pyramid [Watershed Wellness Center]

Japan, Courtesy of Big Food [I am a Viking]
Healthy “food lifestyle” poster developed by the non-governmental organization Japanese called the Zaidan Houjin Shokuseikatsu Jouhou Saabisu Sentaa who get much of their funding from large food corporations.

Japanese Pyramid [I am a Viking]
Tim at I am a Viking‘s estimation of what the Japanese government’s food pyramid could look like.

Pure diet Zen in a triangle

Healthy Food Pyramid (2000) [Kid Cyber]
This reasonably healthy pyramid, as far as flat graphical “representations” of a diet go, is specifically geared towards students (K-6) in Australia.

Okinawa Diet [Okinawa Program]
This diet relegated some foods to only weekly consumption. Calcium-rich daily foods find their way into the bottom of the pyramid. Vegetables and grains are given equal proportion. Eggs, meat, and poultry are optional weekly foods.

Healing Foods Pyramid [University of Michigan Integrative Medicine]

Harvard’s Response to the Updated USDA Pyramid [Harvard School of Public Health]
In 2008 Harvard responded to the updated USDA MyPyramid with this one emphasizing exercise, whole foods, and moderation. The Harvard pyramid also places an emphasis on healthy fats, poultry, eggs, and fish, and suggests limiting intake of dairy and red meat.

Paleolithic Pyramid [Nikkisblogspot.com]
A blogger suggests a return to the Paleolithic diet, which means eating foods we can forage for at a ratio of 65% animal and 35% plant, eliminating diary, sugar, and oils.

Great feats and SAD modern diets

How to Eat on a $100/mo Budget (Feb 2009) [Mount Desert Islander]
This “pyramid” indicates how the author, Nicole Ouellette, eats on a $100 a month budget. She advocates sticking to the whole foods, cutting down on meat, only eating when she’s hungry, cooking for friends, and making things from scratch.

Writer’s Food Pyramid [Salon]

Avery’s Jelly Belly Food Pyramid [Xanga Profile]

Adrienne’s Food Pyramid [Randomn3ss]

The Modern Vegan [The River Reporter]
An image of what vegans CAN eat, including all the “dairy” products. Of course vegans can’t survive without modern food companies. Duh.

The Toxins in Our Food [Big Picture]
A provocative image about the toxic chemicals that are finding their way into our food system and unknowingly into our diets.

If Kids Designed the Food Pyramid [Epicurious]

If you think the original is ridiculous, how about these?

Zombie Diet [Ambrosia Software]

Randy Caparoso’s Dude Pyramid [The Dude is Everywhere]

SAD Diet w/ easy access to the burial chamber

Dessert Truck Pyramid [Chow]

If a pyramid can’t represent our diet, maybe it can be our diet

Bento Lunchbox Pyramid [Fubiz]
This bento pyramid hybrid by Li Jianye is broken out into three tiers for different food groups. Good for snacks, maybe, but how do you stuff a sandwich into that one?

In the past the newspaper’s reporting on food has been deliberately slow to recognize trends, absent of the daily beat, and many times lacking in intellectual and political substance. If the Times can recognize that the larger subject of food should be a mainstay in our newspapers and on our minds, we can get beyond the hyperbole of those who “eat to live” or “live to eat” which divide our current news choices.

What’s more “local” than a vegetable garden? Michelle Obama is building one after all. The New York Times reports the new garden will be the first since Eleanor Roosevelt’s victory garden in WWII, which was roughly 60 years ago.

We consider WWI and WWII to be the catalysts for our modern food industry, resulting in the abandonment worldwide of practices of raising, cultivation, and preparation of foods by hand. During the Great Depression our grandmothers were still using the whole chicken, feeding the family, and growing some tomatoes in the backyard. But by the end of WWII the government had found a nationwide solution in the form of industry, giving the public a break from cooking and nutrition.

Now here were are broke, in 2009, and Michelle Obama is building a victory garden at the White House.

Can we again find comfort and support in gardening? Can we learn to to grow some 40% of our own produce? The instability and scarcity of food during war caused us to outsource our health and groceries for cheap. Today can we learn to reexamine the quality of our lives, and put attention to our bodies and food sources?

While my subvocal ticker says “there could be baby radishes sprouting already?!”, in reality seeds, politics, children, and education all run on their own schedule.

Political images are powerful, but they are always incomplete. Michelle Obama’s garden needs to be a physical space for all types of food discussion (political, nutritional, ethical, environmental), and it needs to happen over a “slut-red” tomato shared between dirt-stained hands. I’m going to hedge my bets and wait to see what the Lady can grow.

“BRUNCH is a new rock musical about the New York City restaurant scene from the eyes of those who do the serving. It’s about the daily grind, specials, romances, firings, tips and VIPs that inhabit every restaurant, bistro, café and diner in the city. BRUNCH follows a cast of characters — waiters, bartenders and managers — through the most hectic shift of the week, from the first cup of coffee to the last reservation at the tension-filled, comically riotous, patience-trying shift at the end of the restaurant week — Brunch!”

When I was little I hoarded butter behind the sofa, but was thankfully caught before finishing the whole stick. I also liked eating mayo out of the jar, spoon backwards for optimal licking. When it really comes down to it, though, I am mostly a sour girl. I love jars and jars of pickles and eating whole lemons. I am also a big fan of eating directly from the pot. Dishes, silverware, and manners are definitely overrated.

While researching article ideas, I came across this Chowhound thread on “Single Eating Habits.” They range from wives home alone, food-lovers secret tastes, college students getting by, and perfect dips for vegging out. Whether it’s rooted in nostalgia, an act of rebellion, a diet deficiency, shameful vice, comfort, or a favorite flavor combination, you’re definitely not alone. On a less funny but just as interesting note, check out some of the health foods that people crave.

Take a look my favorite secret home-cooked habits from the thread and then share your own!

“Cold spaghetti and butter/magargine sandwich. So gross, so good.” [Source]

“I have DQ blizzards for dinner on a regular basis, balanced by an enormous bowl of mid-afternoon spinach to make myself feel better about it.” [Source]

“Whole hearts of palm from the can, by themselves or dipped into things – tzatziki, tomato paste, to name a couple” [Source]

“SPAM, arugula, & dijon on a baguette (the provolone cheese is optional)” [Source]

“I like to sprinkle cheddar cheese on a pan, cook till its crispy but not quite burnt, and eat.” [Source]

“My husband and I actually make something we call “faux pho,” involving ramen dosed with deli roast beef, sri racha, lime juice, and cilantro (if available)” [Source]

“Peanut butter, potato chips, and strawberry preserves on a potato roll.” [Source]

“I take an average bowl of spaghetti and tomato sauce, put on a black shirt, and ignore everytying I ever learned about table manners. No winding strands on the fork, no taking small bites, just big, loud slurps of messy goodness. It’s all about style.” [Source]

“I drank a lot in my single days. You can totally stay slim drinking and not eating.. it’s the addition of home cooked meals and leftovers every day that are killing me now. Not to mention, I ain’t getting any younger ;)” [Source]

“I know what you mean. I can’t wait till he leaves town also! The minute he’s gone, the liver’s on the pan, the stinky fish sauce and shrimp paste are out, the durian’s cracked open and I eat everything out of it’s cookware. No dishes. Just stick the fork into the pot or pan and munch away.” [Source]

“Eat at the sink with your hands and without a plate or utensils. If you’re really bacheloring…don’t even use a napkin, just wash up with with water from the facet. Sort of like a trough really.” [Source]

“Onion and Velveeta sandwiches with Miracle Whip (NO mayo)…can’t go near anyone for hours” [Source]

“eating instant ramen as a cracker… there’s one brand in particular that isn’t so good cooked, but when eaten uncooked tastes so yummy… i’m sure the noodles have more sodium and msg probably” [Source]

“We used to do that when we first got a microwave. Marshmallows do fun things when you nuke ‘em.” [Source]

“A cup of sour cream, a teaspoon of sugar, and a dash of vanilla. Stir. Eat with spoon.” [Source]

“I am so hungry after reading this! My favorite when Hub is gone: Open-faced PB/garlic/tomato sandwiches. Toast bread, scrub with garlic clove, coat with thin layer of creamy peanut butter, top with slices of tomato and sprinkle with kosher salt. (Dang! I am out of tomatoes.)” [Source]

On a serious note…
I crave sugar, chocolate, or ice cream fairly regularly, and so have been doing some research on the topic. Our bodies are capable of signaling us to what we need, but in our contemporary culture it is rare that we’ve tuned in to listen. Instead we respond to advertising, emotional signals, convenience, and stress when picking up food. Many junk foods and specifically sugar cravings are sometimes due to insufficient protein. I am testing this one out now. Consistent chocolate cravings can suggest lack of calcium. Additionally, our bodies fall into rhythms, and while we sometimes outgrow these needs, it’s hard to break the cycle. While indulging in our own “eccentric” tastes sometimes is totally healthy, it’s also good to keep yourself in check and investigate the root of your cravings.

Photo from amanky

The NY offerings are more heavy on the sugar, making me wonder if cost of living can be ignored in this $3.99 bill. Still, there’s hopefully more blocks to walk in our street-food-free, sunless, floating cement box, and cheaper and more edible food to be uncovered in the outer boroughs.

In all seriousness, though, good food should cost less. Restaurants in New York at least (the site currently includes 7 other cities) need to close the gap in price. I am interested to see what sites like 3 Buck Bites will uncover, and what they will instigate.

In the meantime, I need a job. Let’s revive the traditional apprenticeship, shall we?

Also, check out the comments from readers in the Diner’s Journal Blog.

Telegraph recently published an article of foodscapes by London photographer Carl Walker, depicting these “foodscapes.” I can’t help but conjure up memories of my favorite book growing up, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs.

A salmon sea, pumpernickel and yukon gold coast, and raw sugar beach. Salami trees and a bread stick log cabin on the shores of a prosciutto river broken by country loaf rocks. And a melon boat with asparagus masts and and olive windows amidst an angry radicchio sea. Hello Chewandswallow.

According to the sparse IMDB page Sony Pictures Animation has optioned the film rights for Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. I will excuse them for now for signing on Anna Faris as Sam. Hopefully Grandpa and the edible weather will come to theaters soon.

All photographs from Telegraph and Carl Walker.

The Washington Post published an article recently on the comforts that people will not give up buying. Mine are: spinning, fresh produce, soft cotton, dark chocolate, and espresso. What are yours?