Let me start off by saying three things: 1) festivals, especially food festivals in my opinion generally suck, 2) I wasn’t giving this one much of a chance by bailing on two of the events I had tickets for to pick apples, and 3) I absolutely, positively hate (like spit flinging, cursing, and death eyes hate) Rachael Ray. If you disagree with me… well, just don’t. Now that we got that over with, I attended two events at the New York Wine & Food Festival this year.

On Morimoto
Watching Morimoto on stage for an hour was fascinating. The way he peels ginger makes me actually want to go to culinary school, in the East of course. Granted, there were unfortunate requirements like there would be with any cooking special: nothing can really be cooked because it’ll set off the smoke detectors, everything has to fit into an hour segment, and you have to please the crowd. Morimoto is a showman, so no problem there. But Morimoto took all these in stride when he pulled out the Waygu. Waygu is Japanese beef from the region of Kobe. It’s basically the most expensive beef in the world, and among its known facts are being massaged with beer as it matures, having the highest grade of marble, the fat melting simply from your body heat. Of course, there are a lot of cuts of beef masquerading as Waygu, and most of the world cannot afford to cook with it. Macy’s was footing the bill, so why not. Obviously the real deal is on the menu at Morimoto’s restaurants. From watching him, two things became obvious: 1) a chef is prided for his knife skills, and 2) in an establishment like Morimoto’s restaurants, presentation takes up literally half the time.

On So You Want to Write a Cookbook?
After 15 minutes of a panel it became obvious that the highlights of the festival were the celebrity chef names and demonstrations. Four 30-something women sat in a little white room at the Bumble & Bumble studio. About 40 people showed up to hear about cookbooks.

Katie Workman of Clarkson Potter and Workman Publishing was moderating, her voice wavering the whole time. She looked as if she was recovering from a hard night. The other three panelists were cookbook author and previous actress Daisy Martinez, literary agent Miriam Goderich, and editor Pam Krauss. Three of the four were wearing v-cut shirts, and Pam had on some serious fishnets. Daisy, poor soul, had donned a shiny wraparound and has so much collagen in her lips I almost didn’t notice her fake tits. The reason I mention their demeanor is because these women were trying so hard to be sexy, probably to refute claims that women in cooking and publishing aren’t attractive. As a women with an interest in going into the food publishing world, their desperation was embarrassing. Oh, and also of note, they had all previously worked with Rachael Ray.

I was really eager to hear about test cooking, how to build a theme based on recipes, how to deal with food photography, whether an agent is necessary, etc. These women came straight out of the gates discussing “trendy” food topics. If there are people out there thinking about writing a cookbook but who have no interest or background in food, come talk to me. That is all. I left as they went on about the declining market and ethnic cuisine being in vogue, and went home to make some bread pudding.

My opinions about food festivals still stands, but I have a new found love for Morimoto.